I am proudly registered to vote as an “Independent”. That’s
right. No “R” or “D” on my card. It says, “NPA” – “NO PARTY AFFILIATION”. That’s
because in my opinion, both the “R” party and the “D” party are full of nothing
but self-serving, borderline megalomaniac idiots. I’ll save the ideological
venom I have for the “D” clowns for now. I want to focus on just how
mind-bogglingly stupid the Republicans are here in 2016. If you are reading this
50 years from now you might find it hard to believe. More likely, you will think
to yourself, “Oh, so that’s how it all started” as you strain to read the text
printed on yellowing, cheaply made paper through your generic,
government-issued eyeglasses.
I am writing this little rant on Wednesday, March 16, 2016.
It is one day after the Florida primaries. What is left of the Republican party
is in a panic. They started out with seventeen (yes, seventeen) candidates
lined up to run for the office of President of the United States. At the
outset, the projected nominee from the Democrats was a filthy liar (at best)
and probable felon, Hillary “Satan in Drag” Clinton. (Sorry. A little venom
dripped out there.) The presidency was ripe for the picking given this pitiful
offering from the left. As a result, a plethora of candidates lined up to take their stab at it. Now
that we are oh so deep into the primary season, it has become clear to everyone
except the mental midgets running the Republican Party that pretty much
everyone hates them all. They are hated because they are self-absorbed liars,
hypocrites and cowering wimps. Most of the current Republican Congress
population got elected by claiming to be fiscally conservative and dedicated to
fixing all of the cronyism and corruption in Washington. They pretty much were
unanimous in lying through their teeth the whole time they were saying these
things. People got mad. Meanwhile, the Democrats mumbled to themselves about
how mind-bogglingly stupid the Republicans were acting when they had been given
a golden opportunity (and a mandate from the people) to do pretty much anything
they wanted. But hey! The debt-fest could continue unabated. Corrupt anal pores
on the left could take comfort in the fact that the sphincters on the right
were just as black-hearted and selfish as they were.
But they all forgot about the people.
The people came out and started voting in the primaries in
large numbers. They decided that the one thing they could do that might make a
little bit of a difference was vote. And, since there were two candidates in
the race that all politicians seemed to universally hate, they got most of the
votes. Ted Cruz, even though he was an elected Senator from Texas, got votes
because all of his enemies tried to denounce him by saying he could not get
along with anyone in Washington. Ding! The people said, “Great! Neither can I!”
The other vote-getter, and currently the front-runner, was Donald Trump. Trump stormed onto the stage with rhetoric that was loud, obnoxious, foul-mouthed and bombastic. He may be mentally ill. He
hates all politicians equally (or at least claims to) and they all universally
hate him. (No claim there. They do hate him and are proud of it.)
Since none of the “good old boys” can win the nomination,
all of them are banding together and actually seriously considering
circumventing the will of the people and contesting the nomination at the RNC.
I do not like Donald Trump. I don’t trust him because I have seen him on two
sides of too many issues in too short of a time. I don’t know who he is. But –
and here’s the important part – if he is
the top vote-getter, then he wins the nomination. If he gets the most
votes in the general election, then he is the President. That’s how it works. You
can’t just change the rules because your guy didn’t win. This is not schoolyard
dodgeball we are playing here. I didn’t vote for Barack Obama. I do not agree
with many of his policies and ideological beliefs. But – again – he was duly
elected so he is the President, whether I like it or not.
If the dumb-as-a-turd-sandwich Republicans scuttle the
voting process and just nominate an establishment candidate against the spoken
will of the people, they will be destroying themselves. I suspect the party
will never recover from it. People hate stuff. People hate feeling like they are
being swept under the rug more than most other stuff. Millions come out to vote
in primaries. They go out of their way. They make themselves late for work.
They stand in line. They vote. The ones who do vote believe in the process.
Step on that belief at your peril.
All of this should be screamingly obvious to even the most
obtuse dullard, yet my gut tells me that the Republicans will continue on their
death march. I’m going to go all Nostradamus on your butts here and formulate
my own prediction. Tune in come November and see how I did.
- Trump continues to steamroll opponents in the primaries despite a valiant fight from Ted Cruz.
- Kasich, in his mania, remains in the race until the bitter end, hoping to be the guy who gets tapped by the “Good Old Boys” at the convention, even though he waltzes in with fewer than 200 delegates to his name.
- Cruz drops out once he sees that the math cannot work anymore. I think he’s the smartest of the ones left so he will know when he’s beaten.
- Mitt Romney and the rest of the Robo-Republicans wring their hands with self-righteous angst and announce that they are going to have to “consider” how things have fallen out and how best to beat the Democratic competition.
- Meanwhile, on the “D” side, Hillary Clinton collects enough delegates to win. The FBI mysteriously delays any decision about the ongoing investigation into her e-mail server. At least one witness associated with this investigation ends up dead – a suicide victim with two bullet wounds in his head. Bernie Sanders cries and smokes a joint to calm his nerves. Close examination of ballots would reveal that he actually beat Clinton, but nobody beats a Clinton and lives to tell about it. So – Hillary wins.
- The RNC is a joke – and not a funny one. Trump supporters, outnumbering establishment butt-heads two to one, protest loudly. Kasich beats his fists on his knees in despair as the party nominates Paul Ryan – who wasn’t even running. Ryan picks Romney as VP. Trump people storm out of the convention, possibly starting a fire or two on the way out. They, along with all of the Cruz voters, vow to never vote for a Republican again.
- Trump forms a third party campaign and splits the Republican vote in the fall. Conservatives hold their noses and vote for him while the hypocritical posers vote for the establishment candidate Ryan.
- Hillary Clinton waltzes into office essentially unopposed.
Heaven help us.
